A.L.S. always living scared

So, I have had so many requests to continue my blogging and I truly wanted to but felt too guilty for making myself and others laugh. It has been exactly 11 months since my last blog and I think I am ready now. Just after my Peacock Blog my one and only brother was diagnosed with ALS or Lou Gehrig's disease. ALS is short for Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. The first time I heard these words we were at my aunt Lyndas funeral. My brother had all of these really weird symptoms like "fasiculations" which I had never heard of before. This is like little twitches of your nerves. But his were off the hizzy. They were all over his legs and arms and stomach. I remember him telling me that he had them and for me to look at them and I was so oblivious I was like man that is weird. Never thought anything else about it. He had also lost 40 or so lbs and I thought he looked hot! I had no idea that he and Michelle thought something was seriously wrong. So back to the funeral.


My aunt, Sister Lynda Ann Rink, my namesake, yes a nun, had brain cancer and had been doing really good but when it kicked in it was really quick. She died and has truly been missed by me and my whole family. My brother came in for the funeral and the night of the wake he looked so different. He was definitely walking differently and his spirit was on a sabbatical. We found out that night that he had an MRI the next day. We were all so scared but we were trying to focus on our aunt. I had the gathering at my house after the funeral and Jay and Michelle came after the MRI. Michelle told me that one thing they had mentioned was ALS. Holy shit mother of god, I had no idea that these three letters would mean that I would live with these three letters. For me they stand for Always Living Scared (ALS).


We did not get the diagnosis for another week. Jays kids were in town and I had the little ones and my sister had the big ones. Jay had an appointment that would change my whole families lives. I will never forget it. I took the little kids to see Toy Story 3 and my sister had the big kids at another movie. I texted my mom and I said any news???? She replied "yes, not good, the worst"................................I promptly left the theatre and went in the lobby and started crying, I called Rick, I called Nicey and I called my sister not knowing she was 20 feet away. She came out and we sobbed together and I will never walk in that theatre again without thinking about it. I will never watch toy story 3, EVER!



The rest of the week was a blurr. I keep talking to myself and asking REALLY GOD? I still cant believe it. I still don't believe it.



I am a runner and I think I have thrown myself into this hobby because it lets my mind run free and my legs feel endless. I think about my brother a gazillion times a day but especially when I run. I listen to music that reminds me of him and I think of how lucky I am to be able to run and run and run, something he will never be able to do again.



I find myself dwelling on not only the future but a lot about the present. I go over everything in my mind after I leave him, over and over and over and try to think about his changes and how he must be feeling. I think mostly about how he must be feeling and about the sadness that must be in his heart. I know my heart is really heavy these days. I put on a really big front that I am a tough girl but I feel so sad most of the time but have incredible highs as well. We have made so many memories this past year and have really tried to take in all that we can. I am not a sappy person but when I run I get really sappy and many times I will get very teary, but no one is there so I can go to town all by myself. My running and my tears, It makes me feel so much better.

So here i am one year later, since then he has gotten married to Michelle (our angel) If it wasn't for her I would cry a lot more. I think to myself thank you god for sending her.......I think to myself thank you god for letting me run.

Fluff your Peacock

I'm sure you're wondering what the heck I am talking about. Well even if you don't realize it we all have at least a couple of peacocks in our lives. I first came up with the name when I was on my beach trip with my friends. My tried and true friend, Nicey, Is my Queen peacock. We were sitting on the beach and this guy came up to talk to us. The rest of us were just laying there because we all know we look better laying down than standing up and showing all of our feathers. But not Nicey, this bird always gets up and has this kind of cocky, upright posture and this air about her when strangers come along.. She is the Queen, mother peacock!

So after this very married guy "just being nice" leaves, I sat there and thought........ Oh my gosh, you just totally spread your feathers when that guy walked up and totally took over. You are like a peacock!!! Then I realized that her feathers need to be fluffed now and then. What I mean is that the peacock will do anything for you but you have to fluff her feathers now and then. For instance, lots of thank you's, lots of positive reinforcements, and lots of compliments. These things will take you a long way with the peacocks in your lives! I mean this in a very good way. Actually, we should treat everyone like peacocks. Very beautiful birds that have wonderful colorful feathers that need to be nurtured and taken care of and fluffed in order to keep them thriving.

I have realized that I also have a daddy peacock in my life. It is absolutely my dad. He would do anything for me but he requires a lot of fluffing and sucking up to. I have fought this bird my whole life. But after my epiphany at the beach I finally realized that its not worth the fight. The end results are well worth it!!

Lets thank all of the peacocks in our lives, what would we do without them??????

How do they do it??

Just got back from a long weekend of baseball in lulling. I still don't get the whole baseball thing. I feel like I am the only one that complains or thinks that the whole tournament thing is a racket. This is the drill... I usually complain about where it is and the fact that we have to get their an hour early, just to get everyone in and all of the snacks is a fortune and I literally sweat my ass off. Everyone else brings food, toys, drinks, battery operated fans, bug spray, sun block, and are all color coordinated, I seriously don't know how people do it!!!

So my housekeeper decided to not show around 2 months ago and since then I am in charge of the cleaning. How do people do it????? I feel like all I do is clean my house. OK so maybe I don't get up till 11:00 but from then till 11pm I do not sit down..Literally do not sit down between the cleaning, cooking, carting kids, going to grocery, working out, watering the garden, yelling at the kids, doing the laundry, more yelling at the kids, making sure all of the baseball uniforms are together for the games we have 4 days a week, not including Cameron's weekend tournaments...

What the hell! I know I signed up for this whole stay at home mom, wife thing but I swear it is so damn hard. By the end of the day all I want to do is have a glass of wine and chill out to watch Bravo. But one glass turns to Two then Three and then I find myself not wanting to get up at all the next day so I try not to drink at least Monday till Thursday, although the summer is a little different and the rules are bent a little bit more but I still try to abide.

So we get home late last night after we won one game and lost one the weirdest thing happened. There was a frog in my house and I swear he or she had the biggest dust bunny hanging on its leg it could not hop. Then I found a June bug with the same problem. I have never seen this in my life. I know I mopped Friday afternoon and swept twice since then so why are my floors so damn dirty. I give up!

In the mist of all this I found Bella eating lettuce on a fork which I thought is much more healthy than Chicken on a stick and actually tasted really good. Maybe I should start selling these at fairs...Lettuce on a stick????? Bella may be on to something.

Sex in my city

OK so in anticipation of Sex In The City 2 the movie which out on Thursday, I just wanted to give my take on the S word. We all love it but sometimes were not in the mood. My thoughts are that maybe were not in the mood but who really ever is??? Actually, sometimes I am really in the mood, The fact of the matter is if we want harmony and peace in our home you better give in or you are screwed!!
I am not saying this to be funny, I'm telling you no matter how great your marriage is if there is not a continuous pattern of sex or something that resembles it you are going down!! Really, our husbands are like primates. It's not their fault it is the way they are wired The fact of the matter is that if you don't make him happy he will definitely find something or someone else that does.

I truly believe this!

Take out the local girl

Sooo I always feel guilty for ordering out on the weekends because it is about 70.00 every time, and I can cook a really good meal for about 25.00. For example, tonight I told Rick I wanted to stay in and cook and I figured out last night I wanted to make veal parmigiana with pasta and a good salad. I really love to cook and it is very therapeutic. I put my music on really high and I go to town... So after going to the grocery, cooking for two hours, being sick of the food I cooked for two hours, and everyone eating at totally different times, I'm like "What the hell did I do this for???" I truly think my 3 hours of cooking and cleaning is worth way more than 45 bucks. Seriously I am a much happier wife and mother when someone else can wait on me and pick up after all of my kids.

I told Rick tonight if I have to unload the dishwasher one more f -ing time I am going to puke. 4 times today and another load is waiting. Wait a second... I thought that was Julianna's job to unload and load the dishwasher????? R u kidding me?? She only does it when I threaten her with something like no forever 21 for a month. I swear to you that I would rather do it myself than bug the shit out of them to do it.

Meanwhile Millie's boil had been popped numerous times and she is now taking Bactrum, thanks to her yaya that called it in and hopefully she will have only 2 tits tomorrow instead of three.

Oh yeah, if you didn't see Rick in the paper today, front of the living section in a piece called "The best revenge".....talking about his exercise regime, it was really cool and he looked so hot ,but little did anyone know that me, Millie, and Georgia were on the sidelines waiting for him to finish because Georgia was screaming in pain because of her strep. You would never know by his face....that is the difference between men and women. I could never look so good when my husband and baby are lurking in the background. I have to say my husband is the best!!!

The only weird thing is that the photographer saw us and was really interested in our family...."So, you have 2 girls???" I'm like, "No actually I have 4 girls and 2 boys." OOOHHHH really? Yep! I said ...One Million questions later and I was described in the article as a "local girl" Can't I get a little more credit than that??? No you don't girlfriend........

Boiling over

OK so I have not given all of my kids a party every year of their lives. I truly believe I should have but it just didn't happen. Bella had a party on her 1st and 3rd birthday but this year she wanted a big "Princess Water slide" party. We were so graciously given all of my nieces extra candy and lollipop decorations from her sweet 16 so we had a candy bar, big water slide and 40 of her closest friends. OMG!
I love it when its over and I love planning it but the actual event kinda sucks! First of all Quint had Bella before the party and thought the party started one hour later than it actually did so the birthday girl arrived very fashionably late. My dad has always taught me to make lemons out of lemonade So I thought how can I make the most of this weird situation where a 5 year old is almost an hour late for her own party???? So I thought about it and knew that all of my kids have always asked for a surprise party and I was going to seize the moment. I gathered up everyone in the house before Bella arrives and when she gets there I met her on the porch and told her no one came and the look on her face was so pitiful but when she she saw everyone in the house yelling "SURPRISE!!" It was priceless.

There you go... one more thing off of my bucket list....."THROW BELLA A SURPRISE PARTY" DONE!

Bella and Georgia had an ENT appointment on Tuesday for their ears. Georgia and Bella's ears were good and Georgia will get tubes next week! The bad news is that Millie woke up with a big boil on her knee Tuesday morning, I think from the nasty water slide. Anyway, with such a large family we are no strangers to boils. I swear I have never seen so many boils in the last couple of years. I know exactly how to pop them and drain them. Soooo gross but it has to be done. So Dr. Mike drained it and sent us on our way. Prior to seeing Mike, which by the way, is an ENT doctor and very graiously lanced it for us while Bella was getting her hearing tested Millie would yell ."Don't touch my boil!" ......... "Watch out for my boil!".........But being the funny girl she is by Wednesday she was saying, "SPANK THE BOIL, COME ON SPANK THE BOIL!" What the hell does that mean?? Who does she possibly think would spank her boil......I swear that child reminds me of myself.

Our summers have officially begun because I have been spending every evening watching my girls play cabbage ball in preperation of their big opening weekend at Lakeview playground. I swear it is bitter sweet! I seriously don't know why I go to the games. I know all I do is talk the whole entire time!!! I never see Millie or Bella hit and the only thing I do is entertain Georgia and get frustrated with the money I dish out. Lakeview does sell beer, so it does ease the pain a little bit, but I sill think all playgrounds should have a a state of the art nursery so parents can actually watch their other kids play. Of course it would be stocked with pickles, sour punch straws, Gatorade's, hot dogs and nachos so those kids don't feel left out. Maybe this year I will invest in a muzzle so I actually watch my kids play!

What the Hell!

Let me just get started by saying my life never has a dull moment. After having a fabulous mothers day at my mom and dads and helping host my incredible niece's sweet sixteen party, by the time Sunday night came I was pretty exhausted............. Oh no, but the big man upstairs definitely thinks I can manage more. So the madness begins.

Monday morning I wake up to a broken pool pump and filter. So glad the pool will be green for Bella's party. The Joy! We realize our Dryer has Been connected the wrong way for 7 years, hence the blown out motor and we could have easily burned our house down. When the appliance man came downstairs laughing at the fact that he has "No idea how you are going to fix it" I swear I wanted to slap him. Oh yeah, and Rick asked him if he could fix the vacuum cleaner too he laughed again after looking at it and said "ma'am that is a throw away" I'm like, "what is a throw away?" and hes like "You don't fix it, you throw it away." Well I guess I am really stupid!!!! So I call Rick and tell him. By 4:00 I had the dryer and vacuum cleaner in front of the house and a new dryer and vacuum picked out, delivered and hooked up by my incredible husband, Rick!
Oh yeah almost forgot about snack day for Bella. Is it just me or does everyone cringe when they see the Raggedy Ann And Andy bag come home....F_ _ _! I'm always like "NOOOOOO, not the snack bag" and Bella always laughs cuz she thinks its sooo funny. Well, so I was trying to pass on the cup cakes left over from the sweet sixteen but was informed that they were too old. (So what if their a little hard) So I had to go to the grocery and got cookie cake, ice cream, and rushed to school to realize that I had missed snack and they gave the class some oreos that they "found." THE GUILT OF A MOTHER OF 6. The good news is that they woke up the kids early and they got to enjoy Bella's Birthday at school. Happy 5th Bella!!

Soooo after 2 days with the pool man lingering around, and me having to help him jump his truck because his battery died we are on our way to a beautiful blue pool. Feeling good about all we accomplished that day We pass out to be woken up by our precious Georgia at 2am with a screeching cry and a fever.

Holy Crap! We all know when an infant gets sick pretty much the whole house gets shut down and I feel like putting a "Do Not Disturb" sign wrapped around the whole house....Back to Doctor Keith and we are informed that she has a viral strep throat and a bad ear infection. I have never heard of tonsils being referred to as "Meaty" . Gross!!!!! What does that mean? Well apparently it means their very red like raw meat. Time to hunker down for 3 days to totally attend to her. I guess that means no girl dinner tonight, no jazzercize, no cooking, no cleaning, no fun, and I lot of huffing and puffing.

Finally get her to sleep around 10pm getting ready to watch a little TV and the frickin TV and computer went out again..I swear I really couldn't believe it.. Cox was out for about 45 minutes, she woke up and Rick and I decided to go play with her upstairs and have a cocktail on the floor of Georgia's nursery. I have to admit it was kind of a nice way to end a hectic day. FIREFLY SOUTHERN LEMONADE on the rocks is delicious.. I did add a little club soda for the second one... Then all three of us went to bed.

very Rocky night but Megan came over from 8-10 to watch the little peach while I slept........

Almost forgot, getting the house pressure washed today, and water has been turned off in our neighborhood...Are you kidding me....??????


WHAT THE HELL!